Gay jokes about the navy

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A young man joined the British Navy in the 1600s

After being shown around the ship and told he'd be at sea for many months, he asked the Captain, "What does a man do to relieve his urges?"

The Captain said, "Well, there's a barrel lashed to the mast and it has a hole in it. Constant peeking from heterokrakens. while some female sailors are peeping on them.

  • Joked about in Titanic (1997).

    The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

    "No," he replies, "just got this state-of-the-art ...
  • Curvy: In Water World, the ship Wexler rides on has all the male crewmembers sleeping with each other.
  • Discussed in depth in the book Sodomy and the Pirate Tradition (which Johnny Depp read in preparation to play Captain Jack Sparrow): the argument is basically that gay sex actually wasn't nearly as taboo and shocking in the seventeenth century as it is today, and that those who lived as pirates had little regard for societal norms and "rules" anyway, so it wouldn't really have been a big deal for men stuck onboard a ship for months at a time to turn to one another for sex and/or love.

    The mother proceeds to set him straight about the less-fun parts of sapphic seafaring, indicating that she used to be a lesbian sailor herself.

  • In Tradewinds: Legends, the burly Berber swordsman Hasan Tazere is a Straight Gay with occasional Camp Gay ("Does this tattoo complement my eyes?") and Manly Gay ("Visit meat market.

    gay jokes about the navy

    The deal fell through when conservative activists complained about the Village People's association with the gay community.

  • Jean Genet's Querelle De Brest, later made into a film by Rainer Werner Fassbinder. a certain kind of pirate.
  • South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut: Satan's big "I Want" Song"Up There" includes him cavorting aboard the SS Manhandler with many muscular men wearing very tight Speedos.

    Outside prison or single-gender schools, probably the most well-known version of Situational Sexuality is in the naval service. See also: this video.

  • Referenced often by Army personnel in most nations who wish to start a fight with their navy comrades — "Backs to the wall boys, here come the Navy!" is a favorite in the UK. "How do they separate the men from the boys in the Navy?

  • Of course, the crew may fall afoul of the law over such practices, especially in countries which have explicit prohibitions on homosexual acts under any circumstances in the military. They are armed with cannons and a hundred men with muskets and swords!”

    “Very well,” said the Captain. In San Francisco.
  • In the UK comedy Brass, the Camp Gay son borrows his mother's perfume, "Bonsoir Matelot."
  • Homosexuality in the Royal Navy was the subject of one episode of the Channel 4 parody news show Brass Eye.

  • "Simpson Tide" had the Village People sing on the submarine with Smithers dancing along.

    • This joke may contain profanity. I once jumped out of an aircraft 60 feet above the ocean and swam 10 miles to our camp."

    Airforce man: "I once flew an aircaft to our camp, landed it safely ... 🤔

    A marine general, an army general, and a navy admiral were discussing who had the toughest men...

    The army general says, "Alright, I'll prove the army has the toughest men in the country.

    for about five minutes.